I believe it too and I believe it's not just rainbows that God sends our way to show His love to us....
I remember when my Grandma died suddenly. She was 88, hadn't been ill but had been asking to see me. I was home from University for a reading week (well it really was a Polytechnic then but it's a University now!).
"Your Grandma keeps asking for you but I told her I wasn't sure if you were coming home," said Mum, sensibly not getting Grandma's hopes up that I would call.
"I'll go and see her tomorrow." Was my reply. Although I wanted to see her I had only just got back and it was getting a bit late in the afternoon for a visit. There was always the next day....
...Unfortunately there wasn't. She died that evening, peacefully in front of the TV watching Emmerdale Farm. What a way to go!
Did she know her time on earth was nearly up? Was there anything she wanted to tell me? I will never know this side of heaven and because I didn't see her it hit me really hard.
A few days later I went for a walk. It was a walk we had done many times when I was a child and Grandma had been with us on several occasions in her younger days. In fact she probably did the same walk hundreds of times before I was even thought of. It was the best place to pick blackberries and walking there always brings back such happy childhood memories.
I sat at the top of the hill with a notebook and my Bible, which was coincidentally the last birthday present Grandma had given me. The front cover now falls apart from the rest of the Bible but it is still so special, with her inscription inside.
As I was praying, crying, writing or all of the above I suddenly spotted something out of the corner of my eye. I sat very still.
There was a baby rabbit sitting not very far away from me.
In all the times we had walked up this hill I had never seen a rabbit this close or this still. The ground was littered with droppings and there were plenty of rabbit holes, some very large holes that my brother and I used to jump in. Maybe in the past we'd spotted a rabbit scampering away from two noisy children running around with blackberry stained mouths, well that would be pretty scary for a rabbit!
As I watched this beautiful creature I had a sense that God was there and He was showing me a tiny part of His wonderful world just for me. A special gift because there was no one else around to see. It was a reminder of how much He loved me and that He understood the pain I was going through.
A gift like so many I've received this Christmas from friends and family, just a little something special because we care.
One day Andrew found me, he was all excited and grabbed my hand, "Sarah, come and have a look. There's a peacock in the garden."
We ran off together and when we got to the window I roared with laughter. "Andrew, that's a pheasant! Don't you know the difference?"
He would hate the fact that I'm telling you how silly he was. "Don't write that!" Of course he would have known the difference if you'd have put both birds in front of him but it is a true story nonetheless.
Actually there was more than one pheasant, a whole family of five used to strut across the garden and we all enjoyed watching them. In fact there was a time not long ago when Andrew had got back from somewhere with the boys and they stayed in the car for a while just watching them. It is a happy memory they shared of being with their dad and hopefully every time they see a pheasant it will be another one of God's reminders of both His love and their dad's love.
They are still around in the garden, sometimes it is just footprints in the snow but I've never seen all five, only three since Andrew been gone...
And then there are the rainbows....
I lost count of how many I saw just the week before Andrew died. The best one was on the Thursday when I was driving to church for our church breakfast. As I drove down the hill a rainbow hung over the church with the beautiful colours arcing out from the top over the town.
Now I don't always have a Christian CD in the car but on this occasion I did and I sang along...
Give thanks to the Lord our God and King
His love endures forever
For He is good He is above all things
His love endures forever
Sing Praise
Sing Praise
Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever.
I didn't know what was round the corner but God sent me a promise and a rainbow before Andrew died to reinforce the fact that He was there and wouldn't leave me. He was and always is forever faithful!
Yesterday's rainbow came to me from an unexpected quarter. I found it in a draw!
It is a child's rainbow picture. There is a big rainbow and a little rainbow side by side, a bright yellow sun and some grey raindrops across the top. On the back it says "to Mummy".
Today was the first day I started throwing things - a computer keyboard that wouldn't work went flying across the room!
Today was the first day I started throwing things - a computer keyboard that wouldn't work went flying across the room!
Andrew could have sorted it, sorting out the computer problems was his department. Finally I'd reached the ANGER stage and it felt good to shout and scream and stamp my feet.
The boys didn't like it and I suspect things will get a lot stormier before too long. But with a a bit of rain and lots of Son maybe there will be more rainbows on there way...
No comments:
Post a Comment